


i'm just here to connect with you

by justalittlebluetiefling



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Mild Angst, Mutual Pining, and they actually have a crush on you too but they don't know what to do about it, post 105, so sometimes you just need to hang out and hold hands and that's okay, sometimes you've had a crush on your friend forever and you're not sure if it's a crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25789693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justalittlebluetiefling/pseuds/justalittlebluetiefling
Summary: Jester wants some alone time after fighting Vokodo to try and figure out what her next steps with Travelercon are.
Relationships: Fjord/Jester Lavorre
Comments: 6
Kudos: 110





	i'm just here to connect with you

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place within a couple hours of the Vokodo battle.
> 
> Huge thanks to Travis for putting Blue Healer on his playlist and giving me enough inspiration to actually finish a fic for once in my life.
> 
> Title is from Connect by Elohim.

Jester decides to let the rest of them decide how to get the loot out of Vokodo’s cave. There are other things she needs to think about now that _that’s_ been resolved. It doesn’t seem so far from impossible anymore, the idea of being vulnerable with her friends. But old habits die hard. She still doesn’t want them to see her weak.

So, she slips away while everyone else is laying around on the deck of Eden’s Horizon. She just goes outside. The illusion blocking the cave is gone now. If they want to find her, they can. All she wants to do is sit outside and stare at the ocean for a bit. So she finds a place along the now-exposed path where she can sit with her feet dangling off the side, her hands folded in her lap, with a good view of the beach.

She needs to think. It’s impossible to hold in the sigh that’s been building inside of her for days. Heavy. Sad. Painful. Everything is too up in the air. And she only has a week to figure it out.

“Sorry,” Fjord says behind her suddenly. “Do you want to be alone right now?”

Jester starts and clutches a hand to her chest. “Jeez, Fjord, you scared me!”

“Sorry,” he says again, that sweet little smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

She stares up at him and he shuffles his feet. What is he just standing there for? She is endlessly grateful to him, she always will be, but sometimes he is so confusing.

After a long minute of staring at each other, his cheeks flushing, Jester hoping the heat in hers doesn’t show, he gestures at the ground next to her. “Did you, uh… are you…. Am I intruding or –“

“Oh, gosh, sorry.” She is definitely blushing now. “No, go ahead. You’re not bothering me.”

There’s another long moment of silence as he carefully sits next to her. She hears him swear under his breath when he glances over the edge. Something about safety and heights and she _thinks_ she hears something about a tree and how he doesn’t have any more spells, which makes her want to cover her face so he can’t see the color in her cheeks.

“You know, it was just so loud in there,” she says, more to shake off how awkward she suddenly feels than anything. “There’s so much to think about with Travelercon coming up and I don’t…. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I need to find another way to help the Traveler since we, you know, killed Vokodo.”

His mouth twists in the way it does when he’s trying to hide a frown. It hurts her heart, really. Maybe she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of leaving a group of people who maybe have homes and families behind without their memories. But… she doesn’t know how else to help the Traveler. And she doesn’t know how to say this to Fjord or the rest of her friends, because none of the words sound right.

“I don’t really know what to do, really,” she says, flinging a hand into the air absentmindedly. “If he doesn’t want to be a—”

Jester’s words catch in her throat as Fjord grabs her by the wrist. Right on top of one of her burns. It’s hard not to wince. She thinks she’s succeeded until his face falls and he drops her arm.

“Fuck, Jester, I’m sorry.” He grabs her by the hand this time, pulling her arm into his lap. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you heal yourself?”

“I….”

“Jester.”

His voice goes soft when he says her name. He says it that way that makes her insides feel all melty as his other hand rests gently on her wrist. There’s the gentle green glow as he uses his own new brand of healing. Maybe that’s why it suddenly feels like her heart is trying to beat its way out of her chest. Maybe that’s why there’s that overwhelming feeling of warmth in her entire body when he’s looking directly into her eyes like this.

Jester smiles and gently tries pull her hand back. He’s still holding on with both hands. His one hand on her wrist, the other gently grasping her fingers.

“I, um… thanks for healing me again, Fjord.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” He clears his throat. “Did that help? I know I’m still… new at this.”

Jester grins. “I think you’re a really good healer.”

“Thanks, Jessie.” He blinks a few times and then stares down at their hands. “Any time. You just have to ask.”

He finally lets go, ducking his head, and Jester can’t tell again. If this is real. If he really just dragged his fingers down her hand before he let go or if it’s just something that would sound nice in a story. She wants it to be real. But that scares her, too, because if she gets her hopes up again and then she says something stupid again and he looks at her like he can’t believe she’d ever think something like that….

Instead of saying anything, she clutches her hand in her lap, rubbing her thumb over the spot that he healed. She stares down at it like she can somehow see on her skin whether or not his touch really lingered like that.

“All right,” he says suddenly, the words a little staggered as he stands. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

Before Jester knows what she’s doing, her arm shoots out and she grabs his hand. “Fjord.”

He stares down at her hand for a minute and she’s sure she’s done something wrong, so she lets go and tries to smile.

“You can stay. If you want, I mean. You don’t have to go.” She’s sure he’s going to leave. She’s sure she fucked up.

But then he scratches the back of his neck and he smiles, shy and sweet. “You sure? I don’t want to get in the way of anything.”

“Yeah,” Jester says over a laugh. “I’m sure.”

Fjord grins and tries to hide it right away. But Jester saw it. _That_ was real. And when he sits down again, he sits closer than before, so every time he breathes, his shoulder touches hers, and Jester doesn’t want to get her hopes up. She doesn’t. Really.

But then he reaches over and takes her hand again. He doesn’t say anything else, just stares out at the ocean with her, holding her hand, and he’s _actually_ holding her hand.

Fuck.

Wow.

Okay.

This is… a thing.

Jester isn’t sure if she should say something. But she doesn’t want to stop holding his hand, so she doesn’t. Things are going to get stressful soon enough. They already are. But there’s time, a whole week to figure out those other things. This can just be a moment she enjoys for once. Whatever it means.


End file.
